Paul did not tell the church in Thessalonica not to grieve. He told them not to "sorrow not, even as others which have no hope" (1 Thessalonians 4:13). Grief is not a failure of faith. It is the cost of having loved someone.

Jesus wept

The shortest verse in the Bible is two words long: "Jesus wept" (John 11:35). He was standing at the tomb of His friend Lazarus, and He knew He was about to raise him. He wept anyway, alongside Mary and Martha. Your tears do not offend God. He has shed them too.

What grief can look like

Grief rarely moves in tidy stages. It comes in waves: tiredness, anger, forgetfulness, guilt, and sudden sadness at the sound of a song. Birthdays, anniversaries and the first Christmas can be especially hard.

"The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart" (Psalm 34:18). He is close in the waves, not only once they have passed.

The hope that holds

Our hope rests on the resurrection of Jesus. Because He rose, those who have died in Christ will rise too (1 Thessalonians 4:14). One day "God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death" (Revelation 21:4). For believers, goodbye is not the end of the story.

If you are unsure where someone you loved stood with God, you can entrust them to Him. He is more merciful and more just than we could ever be.

Walking with someone who grieves

Scripture tells us to "weep with them that weep" (Romans 12:15). In practice that looks like:

1. Showing upYour presence matters far more than finding perfect words.
2. Saying their nameMany people avoid mentioning the person who died. Hearing that name spoken with love is often a gift.
3. Staying after the funeralThe hardest weeks usually come once everyone else has gone home.
4. Offering practical helpMeals, school runs and help with paperwork can lift a heavy load.

You do not have to carry this alone

Our pastors and welfare team are here for you. If grief feels unbearable, speak to your GP. If you are struggling to cope or thinking of harming yourself, call Samaritans free on 116 123, any time of day or night.

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